I WILL smack your hand!

They say life moves fast. Sure, I believe it. I see it in the faces of my boys everyday. BUT...if you're pregnant you just watched slugs surpass you in the express lane and leave smoke in your face. The painstaking weeks between appts. The only 4 more weeks you repeat to everyone who not only says "wow, you're big" but also tries to touch your protruding belly. I've never been a toucher. Doing or accepting, so I dont get it. I would never walk up to a non-pregnant person and start rubbing so why now at a persons most uncomfortable stage would you (most likely a complete stranger) think this is the time to become personal friends?! But as said yes, only 4 more weeks! SO you'd think it's over soon right? WRONG! This STILL leaves you with the touchers. It all begins with hospital staff. Of course their hands (freezing cold usually) are always welcome in the throws of labor but once that baby becomes his own person can we focus on I'm not the practice dummy in med school! There's always a hand in or on something :/ And God help the "oh I just love babies" touchers everywhere you go once you decide to venture out in the real world. I don't know where your hands have been! For all I know you ARE that person at the red light who is knuckle deep in their nose. (seriously do those people think that their glass isn't see through) Stop it! I do believe in the "everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten" rules it states...KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF! Now please excuse me while I stock up on Purell.